“Coffins & Cannoli”

23 Jul

SCREENPLAY – Comedy – Hammond, Indiana, 1970s.
Smart-mouthed, sexy Carmen Bonaventura moves to the mid-west to open her own bakery. She falls in love with a small time goomba named Donny DeCrescenzo. Under Carmen’s tutelage, Donny becomes the King Pin of crime in Hammond. Eventually, Donny decides he doesn’t want a girlfriend who is ten times smarter than he is, plus Donny wants sons. When he discovers that Carmen can’t have children, he dumps Carmen and marries her dopey younger sister, Francine. At the wedding, Carmen curses the marriage, “Daughters, Donnie, daughters, is all you’re gonna get – and lots of ‘em!” Nine years and five female babies later, Donny realizes he married the wrong woman, but it’s too late because the next day Donny is arrested for murder. When Francine goes to pieces, capable Carmen steps in, taking over the family and the family business.

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